Try and imagine that, this weekend, I plan to stage an elaborate “prank.” Because I disagree with her politics, I’m going to coax Ann Coulter out from Connecticut under the pretense that I’d like to interview her. When she arrives, alone, she’s encountered by me and a couple friends, who tell her we’d like to do the interview on a boat. She concedes, probably hesitantly, but off we go.
Once we’re out at sea, far away from land and decent cell service, I pull out dildos, condoms, hardcore porn magazines, handcuffs and a blindfold, and I begin to aggressively hit on Coulter. I compliment her sex appeal and then tell her the thesis of my ruse: I’m going to screw her like she screws liberals.
Imagine one of my friends is videotaping this, and that, while I don’t physically harm Coulter, I relentlessly pursue this intimate humiliation until I feel like we’ve got all the tape we need for our “joke.”
Two things would happen once we’d returned to shore, with Coulter embarrassed and scared: 1. My friends and I would be rightfully arrested for kidnapping and assault and 2. I’d never find employment ever again.
If this scenario sounds farcical, it’s not. It’s exactly what conservative prankster James O’Keefe—he of the ACORN pimp fiasco—had planned to do to CNN correspondent Abbie Boudreau, right down to the “condom jar” and “lube.” In a document he titled “CNN Caper,” O’Keefe says his ultimate goal was to turn the tables on CNN: “Using hot blondes to seduce interviewees to get screwed on television, you are faux seducing her in order to screw her on television.”
Get it? He fakes trying to date rape you because you’re more liberal than him.
